Voyagers!: If the gloves fit
by Mrs.Phineas Bogg
Summary: Taking a rest in Brooklyn, Bogg tells Jeff the first of a series of misadventures as a new Voyager, meeting icons later buried in the famed Green-Wood Cemetery. This time helping a musician out of a potentially career damaging and dangerous event.


**Voyagers!: If the gloves fit**

Phineas Bogg and Jeffrey Jones sat upon green park benches, munching on large hot dogs with all the toppings, greasy potato chips and slurping cans of soda. It was a pure junk food treat that Jeffrey missed and Phineas occasionally allowed himself to indulge in whenever they made pit-stop voyages to Jeffrey's home of New York City. This time around Jeffrey asked to be taken to Brooklyn in the latest year on Phineas' omni, 1970. He had a sudden urge to tour the picturesque Botanical Gardens; a place he remembered was his mother's favorite.

It wasn't exactly a voyage, but rather a breather from the one of their toughest assignments yet, saving president Lincoln from abduction by Confederate spies, then having their omni stolen by a pickpocket gang in Victorian England. A gang that inspired young Charles Dickens to write _Oliver Twist. _What amazed Jeffrey was that they even had the same names as the characters from the book._  
_

Jeffrey enjoyed these quiet moments with Phineas. These were the times they really took pause to chat and come to know one another. Phineas Bogg proved to be a vibrant and energetic young man, bustling with charm and a uniquely honed time-traveling wisdom that Jeffrey could never pick up from his school textbooks. The Voyager often misconstrued his facts and dates, but he never failed to amuse Jeffrey with historical anecdotes thrown at him on the sly, often in the midst of an assignment. The most recent one crossed Jeffrey's mind, when Phineas had to trick the beautiful Confederate spy, Jane Phillips, at the gala with President Lincoln. Phineas claimed he did Wednesday Matinees for the famed Russian dancer, Nijinsky, then went on to prove his dancing prowess in what seemed a never ending series of waltzes with Jane.

Jeffrey sat cross-legged on the bench, facing Phineas. He tossed the paper wrapping from his hot dogs into a nearby garbage pail.

"Alright! Two points!"

Phineas laughed. "Not bad, kid! Watch this one." He crushed the soda can in his hand, closed his eyes, and flung it over shoulder, landing it dead center into the pail.

Jeffrey clapped. "Awesome! Let me guess, you played for the Harlem Globetrotters too?"

"Not sure who they are, but I've been known to toss the old pigskin around." Phineas admitted humbly.

Jeffrey rolled his eyes. "Bogg, a pigskin is _football_, what you just did was basketball."

Phineas chuckled embarrassed. "Oh, yeah…I knew that, sometimes I have to keep you on your historical toes, kid."

Jeffrey playfully punched him. "Yeah, _right!"_

Phineas smiled and stretched out his arms, lying back to absorb the warm rays of the sun. "This was a nice idea, Jeff. It really gives meaning to the term, _'take time to smell the roses.'_ I'm glad no allergies kicked in. Hey, that fine lady in the sailor pants is coming this way."

Jeffrey peered over, observing the woman. "Those aren't sailor pants, they're bell-bottoms…and you better not look too long, she's got a man with her…a very big man!"

Phineas couldn't help himself and stared momentarily. The attractive blonde-haired woman puckered her rosy lips and posed for a picture in one of the many little white vestibules aside a bed of pink and purple tulips. He caught her eye and winked with a disarming smile. The woman's eyes widened and she nearly tripped over her platform shoes and giggled profusely, ruining the picture. Phineas looked away quickly and bent down to adjust his boots when her boyfriend turned his head in his direction, annoyed.

Jeffrey had to stifle laughter. "Bogg, I don't know how you do it. One look and they're hooked."

Phineas cocked his head and raised one eyebrow debonairly. "Mind you, it's all in the reflexes."

_"Heh!_ Which ones?"

"Hey, watch it! C'mon, lighten up, kid. I'm just having a little fun. No harm, no foul, right?"

"Right, but I don't want you to get us pounded. That guy's a biker, look at all the leather and chains." Jeffrey pointed out.

_"Ehh!_ I've seen more terrifying sorts during the dark ages, even wore the get up myself. Have you ever held a Morningstar? Try holding two and wearing over seventy-five pounds of chainmail on your chest!" Phineas suddenly stared around the gardens again.

"Hey, if this is Brooklyn, then I can tell ya now, a lot of my earliest voyages are buried here in one of the most famous cemeteries in the world."

"You mean, Green-Wood Cemetery? You're right, there are tons of historical figures. Pretty neat …okay, so name one!_"_

"A challenge, huh? You're on, smart kid. _L.M Gottschalk_."

Jeffrey wrinkled his brow at the unfamiliar name, but tried not to let his uncertainty show. Phineas caught on and poked him.

"Got ya! I finally know someone you don't! _Hahahahaha!"_ He teased.

"Well look, Bogg, I'm only twelve, ya can't expect me to know every obscure person that passes through…"

Phineas shook his head with an _tsk tsk_ noise. "_Obscure?_ Louis Moreau would be highly offended. When he was sixteen years old he played for Chopin, and Chopin predicted he would become, _"the king of pianists."_ He was right; Gottschalk was a hit in America during the mid-nineteenth century. Some call him the forerunner of rag-time and he wrote nearly all his own compositions."

"What was his style like?"

"He was originally from New Orleans. He had this sweet combo of Creole, black, minstrel, South American…Spanish, mariachi, West Indian and Cuban." Phineas counted off.

"All that old time piano music sounds the same to me." Jeffrey shrugged. "Alright, you know _one_ guy. So, tell me about the voyage."

"You really wanna hear it?"

"Why not, I got two minutes."

"Jeffrey!"

"Kidding, Bogg."

Phineas raised one leg up and shifted his body comfortably upon the bench. He smiled slyly. "Heh, if you think I'm bad, you should have seen Louis, that man had them swooning in the aisles."

"Figures you'd know a guy like that." Jeffrey laughed.

"Hey, don't compare, I was a rascal in my days but this guy put the 'play' in 'playboy'. He never married, and men all over the country threatened him for ruining the morality of their wives with his good-looks and matinee-idol status."

"That's what always happens to you beefcake hunks. I've seen enough in those stupid teen mags the girls read in school, _blech!_ I don't know what they saw in those mugs anyway. With their twinkly-dinkly eyes, super tight jeans and silly headshots." Jeffrey muttered.

Phineas nudged him in the ribs. "Jealous are we?"

"No way! I wouldn't want a million girls gaga over me. It would weird me out."

"It is disarming, but it can also be a little fun if kept in its proper place."

Jeffrey stared up at him. "You talk like it happened to you."

Phineas grinned. "That's part of my story. I'm getting there! So, anyway, did you know back then I even grew a walrus mustache to fit in? Ya should've seen it! I don't know how men ate and drank with those bushy things! All day I was wiping crumbs off it, combing it, stroking it, they even had these manly scented oils to keep it tame! The ladies of the time didn't mind so much…" Phineas drifted off wistfully and Jeffrey snapped in his face.

"Bogg, I get it, you had a _'stache,_ the woman liked to pet it, now get on with the story."

"Okay, okay! So anyway, Louis was handsome, the gals loved his _'heavy-lidded, puppy dog eyes'_, and of course he was very talented, if a bit over dramatic for my tastes. He was also intelligent and spoke five languages fluently! That's how I first experimented with the omni functions and how it translates world languages. I matched him word for word and then some, it was…_awesome!"_ Phineas laughed.

"I wonder if Louis was jealous of you."

"He might have been, considering _I_ invented something that history gives him complete credit for, but I didn't get to spend much time with him anyway. He had a hectic world touring and composing lifestyle that caught up to him, he died at forty years old in Brazil."

"Wow, that's sad. How did you meet him?"

"It was in…_uhh…ah,_ 1853, when he was twenty-five he started a brief U.S tour. He was performing at a bunch of little music halls around California and it wore him down. I really don't know why I landed there, but I kinda figured it out after I was literally chased out of the city of San Francisco that night. They would have killed the guy!"

Jeffrey broke into fits of laughter. _"Hahaha! _I could just see it now! Like a Frankenstein movie, all the angry husbands with clubs and torches trying to run you out because you're too _handsome!"_

"Heh, maybe. It wasn't a long voyage by any means, I think I was there for a couple of hours tops, but I was shaking in my boots! I had to go on before a live audience! Not to mention he was going to perform an early version of his difficult Tarantella with a full on orchestra. My fingers wanted to fall off and I think I wanted to pass out, the Tarantella piece was over eight minutes long."

Jeffrey looked at him surprised. "I didn't know you played the piano."

Phineas cracked his knuckles. "I sure do, I'm very good at it too, I must say."

"I'll believe it when I hear it."

Phineas stood up with a sudden idea. "Then why don't we hear it? Let's go back to 1853 and watch my performance, then you can judge for yourself."

Jeffrey looked up dumbfounded. "What? We can do that? We can run into ourselves in the past?"

_"Uhh_…technically, yes, but Voyagers Headquarters is usually very careful not to let it happen, it could cause some kind of drastic time flux."

"Cool! Then what, the universe will explode in a billion particles?" Jeffrey wondered.

"Gee, kid, not _that _drastic."

"Oh. Well, as long as we don't get into any trouble."

Phineas took his hand and pulled him to his feet. "Where's your sense of adventure? We'll be in the back the whole time just watching me sweat it out. Let's go!"

-Oo-

**San Francisco, 1853**

Twenty-one year old Phineas Bogg peeked out behind the red and gold curtains and stared at the growing swarms of Gottschalk's admirers. He was particularly impressed with the bevy of beauties that filled up the first few rows, clutching their handbags and skirts in giddy anticipation for the concert. Phineas drew back and took a few deep breaths. Voyager School didn't necessarily prepare him for stuff like this, but they warned all the students to be on the ready for any potential situation. He peeked into the mirror behind him to make sure he truly looked the part. His shaggy, dirty blonde hair was combed and parted in an array of wings, swirls and rolls and appeared darker with a rich-scented pomade that gave it the wet look. A bit more of the goop kept his mustache tame and he used smudges of theatrical makeup to darken his eyelids and under his eyes, giving him Gottschalk's drowsy, yet alluring features.

Phineas looked down at his hands, his fingers itched in the white gloves and they were too tight, but every respectable pianist wore them. He cracked his knuckles over and over to remove the tension and impatiently tapped his feet, waiting for his cue. Poor Louis was still sick in his dressing room, most likely doubled over a slop bucket. He earlier admitted to Phineas that he was involved in a long night of drinking and revelry. When Phineas nearly landed in his vomit mess, he knew there was no way this man was going to perform his music to a crowd of hundreds tonight.

After convincing the man that he had a smidgen of talent on the piano, Gottschalk agreed to Phineas' wild idea to let him take his place on stage. He didn't care if the other young man messed up too much, the women in America loved him no matter how well he played and he didn't expect to stay long in the U.S anyway. Gottschalk much preferred the far-flung islands and Hispanic countries.

The stage manager came up behind him and shoved him forward. "Come on, Gotts! You're on now! Don't ruin us!"

"Alright, I'm going, I'm going!" Phineas muttered. He pulled at his high, white collar from the sudden tightness around his throat and stumbled forward as the curtains rose.

-Oo-

Jeffrey tugged his partner's shirtsleeve and pointed to a few empty seats in the back. "Quick, grab those! It's a full house!"

The Voyagers hurried to the seats just as the curtains made its ascent. Phineas stared amazed at the familiar stage, complete with a small orchestra and a shiny and black grand piano in the center. He felt his heart thud wildly as he remembered the night.

"Okay, here I come." He whispered.

They watched enthralled as a young man hunkered out, attempting gracefulness in his step. Jeffrey snorted a laugh.

"Bogg you always have that funny walk, a cross between a duck and a football player. Side-to-side, a real _spring_ in your step." Jeffrey couldn't resist imitating him and Phineas pulled him back to his seat and frowned.

"So, I'm a little bowl-legged? But I do _not_ walk like a duck!"

"Seeing is believing and I certainly see it. Or maybe I should just say, _'If the flippers fit!" _Jeffrey grinned sneakily.

Phineas pretended to swat him. "Smart kids give me a pain! Watch the show!"

Jeffrey laughed again as the young Phineas on stage flicked his coat tails with bluster and sat before the piano. He adjusted his seat so much, the scraping noises echoed across the entire theater, sending twitters of laughter throughout the audience. Young Phineas smiled at them nervously and shrugged. He raised his hands and realized he couldn't play until he removed the gloves.

Jeffrey felt Phineas nudge his shoulder. "Watch carefully, this is it, history in the making."

Jeffrey gazed ahead in awe as the Phineas on stage at first nervously fiddled with his gloves, then realized hundreds of eyes were upon him and straightened up tall. He smiled widely at the audience and winked, much to the delight of the women. He tugged bemused and delicately on the fabric until the gloves were removed from his hands, one finger at a time. The audience couldn't contain their enthusiasm and laughed and clapped as he peeled each one off. Jeffrey turned to his partner.

"That! You created _that?_ It's such a cliché in my time! I've seen Bugs Bunny do the same thing on Loony Tunes."

"It's not my fault, I had to make it look good up there. It became a Gottschalk trademark. I really wanted to tear those gloves off and stomp on them; they practically constricted my blood flow! That's why it took me so long to get them off…oh _watch this!"_ He shook Jeffrey's arm and pointed. "This is the best part right here!"

Jeffrey shook his head. "It's been like ten minutes already and you still haven't tinkered any ivories. You're totally stalling!"

Just as young Phineas was about to place the gloves on top of the piano, there were a few shrill screams of delight from the audience. Jeffrey nearly toppled off his chair hysterical laughing as a gaggle of female admirers stormed the stage and tore at his gloves. Young Phineas was so startled, that he nearly fell down himself. He jumped backwards with the gloves still in his hands, narrowly missing falling into the orchestra pit.

"Now, now ladies! I'll be available for autographs much later! Here…_catch!"_ He bellowed. He chuckled upon hearing titters of sighs and exhalations from the women in the first row when they heard his deep and bass tone of voice.

Young Phineas immediately threw them away from the piano and the women scrambled for it. Two buxom women in a green and pink dress each took a dive and they both grasped one. The rest bounded off the stage disappointed and the stagehands had to come out and drag the swooning women off when they attempted to kiss Phineas. He laughed, waved, and blew them kisses as he resumed his place at the piano.

"The show must go on!" He announced to the stunned audience and nodded embarrassed toward the irate conductor.

The Phineas on stage was as ready as he'd ever be. He adjusted the music notes before him. He barely had time to practice backstage with Gottschalk. The conductor glowered at him and struck up the orchestra whether he was ready or not. Phineas kept his head down and his wide-eyed gaze fiercely glued to the keys. He counted the seconds off in his head. At precisely one minute and twenty-one seconds, he brought his hands to the keys and let the music flow.

For the next half-hour Jeffrey sat hushed and amazed at seeing his partner bring down the house with rousing and lively piano ditties and compositions he had never heard. He noticed Phineas next to him playing 'air piano' as he intently followed along. The audience couldn't get enough of this young virtuoso and by the end, gave him a long and thunderous standing ovation.

"Man! That was so awesome! You rocked the house! When you said you could play, I didn't realize you were that good! Why don't you ever tell me these things?"

Phineas grinned modestly. "You never ask and we never really get time like this to talk and stuff. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, it's always work, work, work."

Phineas put his hand on Jeffrey's shoulder and led him out of the theater to beat the crowds. Jeffrey looked back, but young Phineas had already fled the stage.

"That was quick! What happened after that?"

A blush crept to Phineas' cheek. "When I got to Louis' dressing room, he had already went back to his hotel for the night, leaving me a note of congratulations and his last bottle of wine to celebrate. He loved the glove trick too. There was a knock at my door and it was the woman in the green dress who had ravaged one of the gloves."

"Oh no! What did she want?" Jeffrey rolled his eyes.

Phineas flicked his hair and shrugged. "She wanted to meet the master in person. She was an attractive lady, full cheeks, brown hair and greenish eyes, though much older than me. The moment I opened the door she shoved me inside and locked it." Phineas recalled.

_"Great!_ How'd you worm your way out of that one?"

"She was very persuasive…_uhh_…anyway…I realized I had the green light and it was time to scoot, so I had to deny her. That's when the gang of men banged down my door in a fit of rage, and the leader of them was her _husband_."

"Uh oh! Did you get a beat down?" Jeffrey pressed him.

"No way! You think I stuck around for that? I jumped out the window, didn't even check how high it was, and nearly broke my collarbone. They were chasing me like mad until I finally realized I had the omni and made a _real_ escape. It was a pretty close call. I later learned that Louis got out safely…but as history tells it, the women went crazy for him and he was chased."

The Voyagers passed a giant poster outside the theater with a likeness of Gottschalk and a piano beneath his portrait. Jeffrey stared at it quizzically. "No wonder it was you they went nuts over tonight, that guy looks like a cross between Edgar Allen Poe, Albert Einstein and…Grouch Marx."

"Each a very dapper man in his own way." Phineas corrected him. "Up until the turn of the century most of these old photos never did a man or woman justice. The lighting was harsh, it took a long time to get the actual shot, and sometimes you couldn't move one facial muscle or else the photographer had to start all over again. Not to mention, teeth never photographed well. Trust me, he was handsomer in person. Very deep eyes."

"I guess so. You would think no one ever smiled or had fun in the past by looking at those pictures."

As they made it to the end of the corner, the Voyagers heard a slew of shouting. Phineas pulled Jeffrey under an awning of a storefront. They hunkered in the shadows, watching as young Phineas sprinted by, grasping his shoulder in pain. The men rounded the corner a few seconds afterward.

"You rotten scoundrel! Destroying the purity of our women! We will dash you to pieces!" The husband of the amorous fan shouted.

Jeffrey looked up at Phineas.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?"

_"Nahh,_ look, I make it."

Jeffrey peeked again and noticed Phineas' counterpart come to a dead end. At first he attempted to climb the walls, but then realized he had an important, life saving tool. Young Phineas gripped his omni and arbitrarily turned the dials.

"Would love to stay and shoot the breeze, but I gotta go!" He shouted and then disappeared.

Jeffrey came out from under the awning. _"Whew!_ That's over. Let's get back to the field."

Phineas opened the omni. "Yeah, time to go."

"You know Bogg, I really liked doing this with you. You have any more Green-Wood Cemetery stories?"

Phineas nodded. "I'm sure I can dig up…" He faltered before he could finish, remembering that Jeffrey had not long ago lost his parents to tragic deaths. He patted his shoulder. Jeffrey didn't seem to notice his insensitive pun.

"I sure do, Jeff, and I'll be more than happy to share them with you when…"

"There he is! I see him by the bakery! _After him!_ How did he change disguises so fast?" They heard the men shout. Their boot heels pounded the pavement as they surged forward with oaths and threats.

Jeffrey grabbed Phineas' arm frightened. "Bogg hit it! Break time's over!"

Phineas and Jeffrey disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving the men to scatter about mystified until they finally gave up the fruitless search for whom they thought was the passionate musician.

-Oo-

The Voyagers landed back on the bench in the Botanical Gardens, just a few moments after their original departure. Jeffrey found himself laughing aloud.

"That rocked! Bogg, we definitely have to do this again! I like seeing you fumble through history."

Phineas glanced at him wryly. "Fumble? I did pretty darn well on my voyages before you fell into my life, kid." He stared at his young partner with fatherly affection. "But it's a lot more fun to share them with you now."

Jeffrey came to his feet. It was time for them to start voyaging again. "Thanks, Bogg. That was really neat. Next time, we'll go across the street to the Prospect Park zoo for lunch and you can tell me some more. I…I like hearing your stories."

Phineas perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah. There's never a dull moment with ya, is there?"

Phineas grinned and stood up. "Nope. Not ever. Now I'm in the mood to play the piano."

"Who knows, maybe on this next voyage we'll be helping Beethoven?"

"Maybe! Latch on, kid."

Jeffrey gripped his arm and the Voyagers took off into the cosmos, refreshed and excited for their next adventure.

**The End.**


End file.
